No Cuss Asparagus

16 Nov

I hear Asparagus singing, the varied carols I hear!

I also hear cooks cussing from not far, but near.

by Me, but inspired by Whitman, and this will be a short post, so I need fillers, much like higher-ups who conduct meetings that should only take 20 minutes, but manage to stretch it out into a whole in-service.  If you’re a teacher, you know what I’m saying.

Good asparagus is easy to make.  It’s good for you, it’s zero points on Weight Watchers if you only put salt and pepper on it, and they’re very erotic looking, which always a plus for the single guys trying to impress the ladies with their cooking.  There are a grip o’ recipes all over the internet.  But, I figured that I’d put it in here because I did just make it.

Roasted asparagus can have a few options to it,  but to get it going is simple.


1 bunch on asparagus, or as many as you need to serve your guests

a drizzle of olive oil, fo shizzle (sorry)

salt and pepper

Makin’ It:

Jonny Logic (which sometimes can NOT work)!  If you preheat your oven to 400°, it will take you about 20-25 minutes to roast them.  If you heat it to 425°, it will take about 12-15 minutes to roast them.  I write this because, if you have one oven, you might be cooking another dish with a different temperature, so you want to maximize your oven space, right?.  For example, I was making roasted potatoes with this meal, so my oven was at 425°, so I put my asparagus in when I had about 15 minutes left.  If I had had a 400° oven going, then more time would be needed, etc.

Anyhow, preheat the oven to 425°.  Wash the asparagus, cut off the hard ends, and lay them on a baking sheet.

Drizzle them lightly with olive oil, but don’t go nuts with it.  Sprinkle with salt and pepper.  It should look like this:

Cook this for 12 to 15 minutes.  When it’s done, it should be slightly charred but still have some firmness to it, like this:


  • 5 minutes before they’re done, sprinkle them with some parmesan and put them back in.  You don’t want to burn the cheese, so you have to wait until near the end.
  • Or squeeze half a lemon over them when they’re finished.
  • Or serve them with hollandaise sauce.  There is a plethora o’ recipes for this online, so go for it.  The Weight Watchers one is actually pretty damn good.  Here is a link for that recipe:

I call this No Cuss Asparagus because it’s so easy, and yet to write this post, I have been cussing at the picture file uploader because it keeps rotating the pictures.  Irony.

Until later, eat, drink, and peace out.

© Jon Marino, 2012


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