Today was a date day. We got grandma to watch the kiddo for five hours. We had a picnic overlooking the Nipomo Mesa on a clear, brusque day at Laetitia winery, 15 minutes up the road from us.
Some Trader Joe’s Eggplant Hummus with flatbread, goat cheese brie, the Trader Joe’s Napa Chicken Salad, crackers, a baguette, some Laetitia sparkling wine for the wife, and a Laetitia pinot noir for me…life is good. This is why we moved to the central coast from Orange County: not a fake tit or humvee in sight.
But this was from 1:30 pm to about 4:00 pm. After the winery, we went to the bowling alley bar (Rancho Bowl ’tis called in Santa Maria) and proceeded to drink a few Pabst Blue Ribbons on tap poured by Tommy, a 75 year old curmudgeon who knows everything about everything. We love this place for obvious reasons.
By the time we left for home, ’twas around 6:00 pm. The kid got dropped off by grandma, and bathtime was slated. But because of our oddball picnic, I got hungry. Of course, I could’ve made a sandwich or something, but when I opened the lunchmeat drawer, it beckoned me: a half chub o’ Jimmy Dean breakfast sausage waiting to be used. Oh, the shame of even thinking about it…
So I constructed something called Eggs Zebediah, the name intending purely to ackowledge our sausage eating and inbreeding forefathers.
a chub of sausage, made into patties
a Thomas’s Bagel Thin, toasted
two eggs, fried (I use cooking spray for this, thus giving myself some dignity)
a swirl of sriracha, or whatever sauce tickles your taint
Cook the sausage patties.
Fry the eggs.
Toast the bagel thin.
Split the bagel thin and place the sausage patties on each bagel half. Place one egg on each sausage-topped bagel half. Circle some sauce on each egg. I ate it with a fork and knife and it was absolutely indulgent, especially when the yolk broke and I got to wipe it all up with a forkful of bagel, sausage, and egg.
Should I start a “stoner food” category? Perhaps…
But, oh, how I feel the shame…
Until later, eat, drink, and peace out.